Akastuki When not hunting a Biju
by Dagomon
Summary: Akatsuki's daily lives.


**Well kind of an one -shot though this is just a speculatiopn I may add a new chapter i feell like doing so. Still I won't focus on that story The idea just stroke me on night and so...Please tell me if it's too confusing.**

Pain woke up feeling rather grumpy today.

Well he was right to be.

Today was the day.

Each month they had to counsel and arrange everyone's task for the next month. "What a drag." he complained

"Cut, cut, cut. This is Shikamaru's line" I complained

"I do not mind"

"I am writing the fic"

"I will kill you"

"Okay you won but Kishimoto won't like it."

"His problem."

Well where was I. Oh yeah.

Well as soon as all the S rank criminals gathered in the counseling room Pain took the lead.

"Well another month has come to it's end and we should rearrange our tasks. Deidara bring the scroll."

A clay bird came on the room with a scroll and flied to Deidara.

"Read it" ordered Pain

"Okay somebody has to do the shopping…"

"I'll do it" proposed Zetsu.

"NO" yelled all

"Why?"

"Because We don't wan t to end up having fertilizers for dinners."

At this point Zetsu departed sulking about not letting him do what he wants.

"Then somebody has to…What's that annoying noise. If anybody is munching anything he better shuts the F*** up because he does not let me peak.

"Candy" said Tobi tossing a paper bag full of colorful candies to Deidara

"Does Senpai want one?"

"Whyyyyy Senpaaaaiiiii. Toby was a good boyyyyyy" asked Toby piercing through the roof sent flying to the air by Deidara's punch

"Deidara I am the only one who can speak foully in here." complained Hidan

"Let's proceed." said Pain

Suddenly Deidara's scroll unfolded to a scroll which was kilometers long.

"Oh boy" thought Pain

"I can assume that some of us had been lazing a bit the last months. The ones done so are asked to raise their hands."

All of them expect Itachi and Pain rose their hands.

"Okay this month is going to be such a drag."

"A…"

"Don't say a word writer of the fic."

"Okay"

"This was a word!!!"

The Akatsuki members sweat dropped as they all thought of voting for a new leader. It seems that all this years working and chasing jinchuricki had gotten the current one's nerves to their limits.

"Who is he speaking to?" asked Kisame

"To the writer of the fic" replied Deidara

"What's that"

"Frankly. I've got no idea"

"Well the conclusion is that we will have to work all together to save time this month."

"It' settled then. This thrill of teamworck is… an EXPLOSION" Said Deidara making his bird to explode in front of Pain's face."

"DEIDARA YOU IDIOT"

* * *

The other day

* * *

All the Akatsuki members expect of Pain were in the super market.

Let's see how. Kisame and Itachi are doing.

"Come on Kisame It's nothing"

"Nothing. NOTHING. I bet you would eat too. You are all murderers. MURDERS. Just look at it, my poor babies. I will buy it so I can have a funeral for it"

"Kisame let go off the shark meat. Most people do not tend to hug the meat. They will think you are crazy."

"Back off. You … You want to eat it too… eh. Aren't I right. You double faced Viper. If you want to eat it this, then I'm safe neither. One day I would wake up slaughtered If I had not found out. MONSTER."(Crazy Maniac Laugh)

"You are a baka, do whatever you want with the meat, just do not walk next to me." said calmly Itachi."

Well and what about…

"What do you mean my coupon take everything 50% percent discount expired!!!"

"I mean it expired."  
"NO!!!"(First heart attack)

"You should pay now sir there are others waiting behind you."

Kakuzu took the money out of his pocket and gave them to the shop owner

"My… my precious money"(Second heart attack)

As he proceeded farther into the shop

He saw Deidara picking some clay and watching him carefully.

"Where is Sassori?"

"He went in there half an hour ago and he never came back." replied Deidara pointing to wooden labyrinth of corridors with one entrance.

Above the entrance it was a label writing.

**Fix it yourself all kinds of ingenious wooden manufactures and puppets to put together for Starters and Veterans of the kind.**

"TOBI WANTS CANDY. TOBY WAS A GOOD BOY TOBY DESERVES CANDY" YELLED TOBI (wait a minute why am I still writing in capitals???) appearing in front of them.

"No Tobi this candy is too expensive take this one."

"No this is tasteless"

"I don't mind"

"I don't mind 'bout money too"

"Tobi you yelled to mister Kakuzu no candy for you."

"Thanks Deidara"

"Nothing But I cannot decide which clay to take. My right hand like this one and the left this one. And they are both preety expensive."

(Third heart attack for Kakuzu)

Kakuzu had not time to answer to Deidara that he better take the less expensive or he was dead and Sassori came out of the Fix it yourself corridors with his hand stuffed with many bags.

"What Sassori you do not need that many wooden…."

He was interrupted by Sassori's one hundred puppets coming out with their hands full of bags too.

And Hiruko also with much more bags in his tail.

(Fourth heart attack Kakuzu faints)

And do not forget.

Konan was looking at different kind of papers when she saw Zetsu going towards…

"ZETSU STAY AWAY FROM THE FERTILIZERS" She ordered him as a rope of papers wrapped itself around Zetsu's white(left) hand.

You are forgetting something" said Zetsu as his black half slit appart and ran towards the fertilizers.

"No Zetsu come back!"

* * *

Pain had a heart attack, he locked at the others around him

"You are trying to tell me that after it took you five hours to find everything we bought Kakuzu did not want to pay the bill and left, still he was the only on who had money on him so you came back empty handed. SO SIMPLE"

All of the Akatsuki remained silent expect of Hidan who was muttering so many wonderful needles…. so many needles and sharp objects and bottles… bottles full of blood. HA, HA, HA. The kingdom of lord Janshin."

"By the way where the heck was he."

"He broke into a doctor's lab next to the super market." explained Sasori.

"When I created the Akatsuki. WHAT WAS I THINKING"

Pain bursted out crying cause of tensed nerves.

"…Does not like see Leader-sama crying. Tobi is a good boy. Does Leader Sama wants Candy. Tobi loves Candy." Said Tobi tossing a bag full of gums and lollipops towards Pain.

"Tobi…"

"Yes"

"Can you make me a favour."

"Yes Tobi is a goo…"

"Shut the **** up"

"NEEDLES AND BLOOD"  
"CANDY"

"(*Sound of sobs and cries)"


End file.
